Bret Michaels, Timeline of Rock

So this new job I just started becomes more and more hilarious as each week goes on. Sunday I raffled off tickets to a Def Leppard/Cheap Trick/Poison concert next month at a BBQ Cook-off Festival in the middle of Chicago's west burbs. Yesterday I was called in to work a shift before the Cubs game at Wrigley passing out ponchos. And tomorrow night, it all culminates in the "Jack After Dark Concert Series" featuring none other than Mr. Bret Michaels.

Now I know this blog is for introducing new music, but I wanted to do some research before meeting the guy who made "Talk Dirty To Me" a catchphrase and felt I had to share my findings. Below is a Timeline of Rock:

1969 - Bret Michaels diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes at age 6.

1983 - Poison forms, moves to LA, and gets paid to play at The Troubador.

1987 - Bret Michaels is sued by a publicist from rival record label Geffen after he pours a pot of boiling water on her boobs. 3rd Degree Burn Hilarity ensues.

1989 - Poison is the fifth best selling Rock group of the '80s behind the Crue, Def Leppard, JBJ, and GNR.

1991 - Michaels gets in a fistfight with lead guitarist CC DeVille at the MTV Awards after DeVille is so drugged up he switches songs halfway through the performance.

1994 - Bret gets into a crazy high speed car accident in his Ferrari breaking his nose, jaw, fingers, ribs, and loses four teeth.

1998 - He makes a movie with Charlie Sheen, because they're BFFs.

2005 - Sex tape of Michaels and Pamela Anderson hits the internet.

2006 - Poison reunites. Releases a Greatest Hits Album. It goes platinum. Twice.

2007 - Bret starts Rock of Love where a bunch of whores vie for his attention.

March 28th, 2009 - Chris meets Bret Michaels and tells him how rock he is.


I mean seriously - high speed Ferrari accident, MTV fistfight, Pamela Anderson sex tape, and his best friend is Charlie Sheen. AND he has diabetes. As much as I hate to admit it, Bret Michaels is pretty rock.


Except for this: